Post by El Tortuga on Nov 16, 2014 13:01:04 GMT -5
el tortuga de los nachos supremos
HOW CAN MIRRORS BE REAL IF OUR EYES AREN'T REAL
RACE. Confused Turtle Human
ALIAS. El Tortuga Confudido
RANK. Rank 1.
HOTEL NUMBER. 403
AGE. 43
GENDER. Male
SEXUALITY. He luh da pussi, b0ss
HEIGHT. 6' 0".
WEIGHT. 195lbs.
STATS:
HP. 12
MP. 16
STR. 0
END. 7 (12 with Pure Heart, 9 with Poco, 14 with both)
MAG. 0
BAR. 6 (11 with Pure Heart, 9 with Poco, 14 with both)
DEX. 0
SPD. 0
PERKS & TRAITS:
STARTING CLASS. White Knight
TRAIT. Pure Heart - The White Knight fights to protect, and gains a +5 END and BAR boost when shielding an ally from an oncoming attack.
✓ PERK SLOT 1: --
✓ PERK SLOT 2: --
✓ PERK SLOT 3: --
PERSONALITY:
- Exceptionally delusional
- Believes in the existence of an omniscient singular deity known only as "The Great Deflector", who will some day bring about an ominous and vexing event known only as "The Great Deflecting", a shield-based apocalypse of some kind
- Possesses a strange and almost wholeheartedly sexual devotion towards all shields and shield-based objects
- Pretends to be Spanish. Speaks only broken and minimal Spanish, hardly conversationally. Has forgotten his true nationality.
- Fascinated with reptilian creatures, mainly turtles and tortoises. Terrapins are pretty legit too.
- Not actually a pirate in any capacity. Just wears the hat because, quote, "It makes me look like a true master of turtles, ese."
- In fact an absolutely terrible pet owner. Has owned a few cats and dogs during his time in Paradise. All have starved to death (and subsequent rebirth) because of inadvertent neglect.
- Believes himself to be a sexual tyrannosaurus and "the last great romantic". Has slept with only many women here but through hacksilver as opposed to charm.
- Decisively enigmatic, and enigmatically indecisive.
- A rather skilled and appreciative vehicular engineer. Quite good with aerial engineering. On obsolete models. Nowhere to be found in Paradise. Or on Earth for that matter.
- A skilled musician. (Can play Smoke on the Water on acoustic guitar. Power chord variant only.)
- Surprisingly acute and detailed knowledge of all existent James Bond material. Desperately wishes to be a spy.
- Outgoing, charming, and rather wacky. Believes himself to be the founder of a group known only as "Los Nachos Supremos", the aim, member-base, and majority of details pertaining to said group being currently unknown.
- Regularly stars in Dr. Dre songs as a featured artist.
- Believes wholeheartedly that he is a superhero. Or villain. Not a particularly motivated one. Just like some kind of overjustified washup. The Lindsay Lohan of abnormally powerful human beings.
LIKES & DISLIKES:
DISLIKES:
✓ El Liebre
✓ Wearing shirts properly
✓ Pointed sticks
✓ Fresh fruit
✓ Pointed sticks laden with fresh fruit
✓ Poorly-maintained or rusted shields
✓ Unlubricated shields
✓ Your father
LIKES:
✓ El Liebre
✓ The Great Deflector
✓ The (admittedly impending) Great Deflection
✓ Shields
✓ Shield lubricant
✓ A good, lubricated shield
✓ Poco
✓ Flamenco guitar
✓ Your mother
✓ Da pussi
APPEARANCE:
HISTORY:
Now this is a story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside-down
So I'd like to take a minute just sit right there
Tell you why I'm a figure of reptilian despair.
In downtown LA, born and raised,
Being a little nerd is how I spent most of my days,
Stressin' out, pressurisin', upsettin', a fool,
And attending most classes at my secondary school,
When a couple of pigs who were up to no good,
Started making trouble, as they always could,
I got beaten by the cops and my mom didn't care,
She said "You're a dumb little dark boy, should've hired an au pair."
The police came upon me the very next day,
Smacking me and tazing me, and calling me gay,
They bruised me with batons and the curb I had bit,
But never quite killed me, just couldn't commit.
Carried on for a while and got pretty bad,
Drinking coke through a straw out of a plastic glass,
Mom came in, told me she's selling my bike,
Didn't realise about her fondness for Hitler's Third Reich.
There's more; wasn't too long til I realised,
With the Nazi party had the cops also sympathised,
I couldn't believe it,
Did my bad luck really have no borders?
Or were the cops just acting on my bitch mom's orders?
The penny dropped, but too soon they came in,
The two officers in blue, my head started to spin,
I can't die yet,
I'm just nineteen,
And these fuckers wanted to kill me because of my light brown sheen.
The law reached in and put his hand on my throat,
And the other one decided to put a knife to my scrote,
But it was then that my own mother appeared with a riot shield,
Smacked me and brained me til I reached these shitty 'Elysian' fields.
This was a while ago in '88,
Or maybe it wasn't, maybe I'm in some state,
Come to think of it that sounds true, I am tripping balls,
Could someone please get all these roaches off the walls?
And now comes a message from the author of this shite,
Thank you for letting me waste a few moments of your life,
Faggot.
INVENTORY:
✓ HEADPIECE: Name: Tricorn Hat
Description: (Simple) It's a pretty killer hat, bro.
Stat Bonuses: --
Enchantments: --
✓ CHESTPIECE: Name: Name: Purple Shell
Description: (Basic) The loose-fitting and ever-unbuttoned shirt that El Tortuga barely wears around himself is both fashionably reminiscent of your favourite flamenco guitarist, and actually somewhat defensible. The Purple Shell creates an appearance-defying field of defense around El Tortuga to buff his defensive statistics.
Stat Bonuses: +2 END, +1 BAR
Enchantments: --
✓ HANDPIECE: Name:
Slick Gloves
Description: (Simple) Damn, man, those gloves are slick.
Stat Bonuses: --
Enchantments: --
✓ LEGPIECE: Name:
Leather Slacks
Description: (Simple) Expensive, yet inefficient.
Stat Bonuses: --
Enchantments: --
✓ SHOEPIECE: Name: Dubiously Flamboyant Platform Shoes
Description: (Simple) For the man who still lives in the 70s, accept no substitute.
Stat Bonuses: +3 inches to height
Enchantments: --
✓ RIGHT-HAND: Name: HyCore Systems R4 'Huevo Rojo' (Red Egg)
Description: (Advanced) A futuristic tall tower-style riot shield, the HyCore Systems R4 model is typically dispatched to a few of Death's more futuristic armour-clad guardsmen and low-level subordinates of other Titans. Best paired with a high-calibre pistol or sub-machine gun for riot control and security troops, El Tortuga has quite clearly ignored this advice and settled for two separate shields, a move that some would consider idiotic, the author included. This shield is a factory model that has since been discontinued, replaced by higher-end R-series; the signs of wear and tear along its front -- as much as El Tortuga may perform his own maintenance -- are clear testament to this.
Stat Bonuses: +5 END
Enchantments: Wrath of the Huevos Rancheros, Vol I (Kinetomancy): A successful block causes a 'rebound' or deflection effect. Immediately, the R4 shield's kinetic retaliation system stores and redirects the damage it has blocked in the form of a burst of physical damage which cannot be countered (dodging/blocking this is the equivalent of a dodged or ranged shot, with the shield generating its own effective DEX value equivalent to its END modifier), whilst additionally compounding the blast with its own END modifier.
✓ LEFT-HAND: Name: HyCore Systems R5 'Huevo Negro' (Black Egg)
Description: (Advanced) The R-series successor/alternative to the Huevo Rojo, the R5 is arguably more effective against magic attacks, with several kinetic dampening modulators contained within its lining, at the penalty of being less reinforced against physical strikes and ranged damage, against which it is arguably useless. Anti-magic and negation-based troops are often outfitted with this within numerous Titan corps. Mishaps within battle often cause this shield to become shredded and grazed by bullets, as much as El Tortuga aims wholeheartedly to avoid utilising it in this sense. However, nanite technology contained within a lower level allows for slow, but intelligent regeneration of the material between battles (read: from thread to thread) allowing it to self-maintain against further structural damage should such mishaps occur. This, unlike the other, was 'liberated' (read: looted) from the corpse of a Valhalla guardsman.
Stat Bonuses: +5 BAR
Enchantments: Wrath of the Huevos Rancheros, Vol II (Kinetomancy). A successful block causes a 'rebound' or deflection effect. Immediately, the R5 shield's kinetic retaliation system stores and redirects the damage it has blocked in the form of a burst of raw magical damage which cannot be countered (dodging/blocking this is the equivalent of a dodged or ranged shot, with the shield generating its own effective MAG value equivalent to its BAR modifier), whilst additionally compounding the blast with its own BAR modifier.
✓ ACCESSORY SLOT 1: Name: El Crucifijo
Description: (Basic) A small and nondescript gold cross that El Tortuga wears on a thin, ornate chain around his neck. Its origin is unknown.
Stat Bonuses: --
Enchantments: (Kinetomancy) A force dampening and mitigation enchantment supplied by El Crucifijo means that any damage that penetrates through El Tortuga's shield after a successful block is halved.
✓ ACCESSORY SLOT 2: --
✓ ACCESSORY SLOT 3: --
✓ POTION SLOT 1: --
✓ POTION SLOT 2: --
✓ POTION SLOT 3: --
SPELLBOOK:
✓ SPELL SLOT 1: Name: Poco
Spell Type: Tier 1, Guardian, Summoning
Description: This spell is usually active, and summons the affable and lovable roguish turtle himself, Poco, short for El Poco Tortuga (literally, 'the little turtle'). No-one quite knows how El Tortuga garnered either the knowledge or ability to conjure his small companion; and that's saying something, considering that the Level 1 Poco is thoroughly unremarkable. El Tortuga and Poco interact in a rather strange way, considering he almost 'wears' Poco like a backpack; the turtle grips onto him for dear life, tucks in his limbs, and serves as a kind of -- surprisingly hardy -- back shield, compounding his existing stats with an additional 3 BAR and 2 END -- Poco's own defensible statistics. The primary function for this spell is to trigger El Tortuga's Pure Heart trait whilst defending, and outside of battle, Poco 'dismounts' and walks alongside his comrade, talking shit like the whackest g you ever did see, ese; that said, Poco is entirely useless alone in battle, and will fall almost immediately. Prizing Poco off is, whilst difficult, possible, and will expose a major flaw in El Tortuga's strategy, as he will have to wait an additional two posts before summoning the creature again.
✓ SPELL SLOT 2:
✓ SPELL SLOT 3:
♔ FACE CLAIM: DRACUL MIHAWK -- ONE PIECE
OOC NAME: ROSS | OTHER: --
